Depression and Jesus

Whew! Sunday was hard for me… the day, March 8th (would have been my daughters 25th birthday), my learn group class was emotional, worship song lyrics we overwhelming me and the sermon was spot on for stirring me up! After church it did not get any easier – it was a long day, that carried over into my Monday when I could not find a set of keys (stress!). So all of this had me in a “funk”, not gonna lie. I’ve been running behind all week, and I just can’t seem to catch up!


The old Naomi would be home in bed, or starring at a wall letting depression win, but the new in Christ Naomi is up and moving forward. It is not always easy, but I make this choice because I am a child of God and know that he has me and I trust him!


It’s been 15 years now that I have been battling depression. I’ve had moments just like Pastor Tim described on Sunday (not wanting to be around people, or staying in bed) and others that I will keep to myself… but I can tell you from my experience that my faith has definitely impacted my thinking and has me responding to depression, anxiety and stress in a different and healthy way.


I took prescription medication for depression, bipolar, anxiety, mood, focus, etc. for years and they served a purpose during a time period, but there came a time when I realized that I was not “feeling” anything. I was on auto pilot. If I thought I was good and could skip – everyone knew. I would hear things like – “oh, we must not have taken our meds today” or “maybe we need to get your meds tweaked” in a joking manner. I would laugh as if it did not bother me, but it hurt.


Then in June of 2017, Adrianna my daughter passed away unexpectedly, at 22. I was heart broken. But, it was in that horrible loss that God showed up bigger and more present than ever before to me! Lives were changed and my relationship with God became more real than ever. It was then that my thinking was impacted by my faith and I became dependent on him and less on medication and things around me. It has taken 3 years to get to where I am, but I have learned different things that work for me… like taking long deep breaths, talking to those close to me, singing, praying and at night praying myself to sleep.


I tell you all of this because as the Bible says in Matthew Chapter 11: 28-30 His yoke is easy and my burden is light. Stop trying to do it all yourself. I don’t have it all together – I’m a hot mess at times – but Jesus did not die on the cross for me to do this all alone. He did not die for you to do this all alone. We are redeemed by his blood!


Maybe, this coming Sunday, I’ll have my emotions a little more under control, but if not, well that’s ok too. I’m going to own it.


Your sister in Christ,